Relationships are all about compromise and balance. They require us to listen to others, to voice our point of view, and to engage in a give and take. However, not all relationships are balanced. Sometimes we overstep our roles. We may assert our point of view so strongly that we cause others to act in ways that make them uncomfortable. Other times, we don’t stand up for ourselves. We follow along with what other people want to do, even if it does not align with our values. In relationships like these, it may be helpful to use the FAST skill to navigate difficult interpersonal situations—like setting boundaries, for example. FAST helps us keep our self-respect so that we feel good about our relationships.
Do you ever feel like you’re not getting what you want from your relationships? This could be any relationship: a romantic relationship, a family relationship, a friendship, a work partnership, and so on. No matter what relationship you’re struggling with, don’t worry! Relationships can be tricky at times. It’s not always easy to ask for what you want or to find the courage to say “no” when you’re not comfortable. Luckily, there’s a DBT skill that is here to help you improve your assertiveness: the DEARMAN skill! It teaches you how to calmly and effectively ask and receive. Let’s learn about how it works…
Ever feel like you’re stuck in a cycle of difficult emotions? You might experience intense emotions and respond to them in ways that aren’t helpful in the long run. All feelings come with action urges that tell us to act in certain ways. For example, when we feel fearful, we try to avoid or escape a situation. When feeling sad, our urge might be to withdraw. However, some emotional urges do more harm than good. They cause us to act in ways we later regret. In those cases, try acting opposite to your emotion! Deliberately responding with the opposite to your emotion urge can change your response to a healthier option that’s more fitting. Let’s explore how it works with different emotions…
We all strive for a better and healthier year ahead. We aim to lose weight, get more sleep, be present in the moment, or have more quality family time, among other goals. No matter what your goal is, it can be difficult to stick to it. Check in with yourself and ask yourself, “How am I doing so far?” If you’re not making the progress you’d like, or if you could use some support in following through on your resolutions this year, look no further! Use these helpful tips to stick to your goals for 2020…
For many people, the end of the year is a time of reflection. It’s a time to look back on how we’ve changed, learned, and grown. We like to think about what we’ve accomplished this year and what we can improve upon in the year to come. We all have areas of our lives that we would like to enhance. By being self-aware and checking in with ourselves, we can make a plan to be an even better version of ourselves in the year ahead. Take the first step towards self-improvement by asking yourself thoughtful questions. Here are some helpful prompting questions to get you started…
It’s the holiday season, which means that family, celebration, and food are front of mind. We take the time to celebrate with loved ones, having fun and catching up over a delicious meal. While it’s great to enjoy a feast with family, it’s also important to be mindful of what you’re eating. The holiday season is known all too well for its high-calorie foods that often cause us to overeat. If you’re wondering what you can do to enjoy your meal without worrying about putting your health at risk, look no further! Here are some tips to keep yourself in check and practice healthy holiday eating…
Have you ever regretted your response to a situation? In the moment, our initial “knee-jerk” reaction seems like the most compelling option. We yell, run away, or say things that we don’t mean because that’s how we feel in the heat of the moment. While that response is valid, it’s not always the most effective choice. What can you do to think things through before you react on powerful emotions? Try checking the facts. Check the Facts is a DBT skill that helps you change your emotional response and make healthier decisions as a result. Let’s learn about how it works…
Everyone’s busy this holiday season. Between travel plans, gift giving, and meal preparation, it’s no wonder that the most wonderful time of the year is also one of the most stressful times of the year.Don’t let the holiday stress get you down! Instead, make yourself a priority and avoid feeling overwhelmed using a DBT skill called Self Soothe. Self Soothe encourages you to care for yourself and improve your mood through your senses. You can comfort yourself, giving yourself the mental health break that you deserve this holiday season. Here are some ideas for self-soothing with each of your senses…
Are you struggling with a problem that you just can’t solve? Do you want to make a change, but you don’t know how? When facing a challenge, there are are various ways to respond. You can figure out a solution to the problem, you can change how you feel about the issue, you can accept reality, you can stay miserable, or you can make things worse by acting out or using negative coping skills. Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to come up with a solution or change how you feel about a problem. In those cases, try accepting reality by practicing radical acceptance. Let’s explore why it’s beneficial to accept reality and how radical acceptance works…
Too often, we find ourselves in situations where our emotions get the best of us. Our hearts race, we feel tears well in our eyes, or our mood quickly turns sour. No matter what we're feeling in the moment, we can't think clearly when powerful overwhelm us. We make decisions impulsively—decisions we might later regret.What can you do to calm yourself down during intense moments? All you have to do is STOP. Using the STOP skill, you can calm yourself down during any moment that feels like a crisis. Take a minute or two to stop and pause with the STOP skill. Let’s learn more about how it works…
Ever wish there was a way to turn negative experiences around? Of course—nobody enjoys feeling upset, angry, or stressed. When we experience powerful feelings like these, our emotions can feel out of control. Generally, we act impulsively—meaning that we put our emotions before our logic—when we face unexpected and overwhelming situations. But sometimes, this is not the best option. We can deal with daily challenges more effectively by replacing negative emotions with positive ones. The DBT skill IMPROVE the Moment gives us a variety of options to help us do so. It's a skill that's designed to help us manage difficult emotions during stressful situations. Let’s learn more about it…
As parents, it’s normal to feel a little uneasy about our kids using social media for the first time. We’re well aware of the negative consequences of social media use, and we want to make sure that our children use it safely. Whether we like it or not, social media isn’t going anywhere. Apps like Snapchat, Instagram, and Twitter have become platforms for socialization and exploration. Luckily, there are positive aspects to responsible social media usage as well. Let’s explore how social media can be beneficial and how to guide your child into appropriate social media usage…
Fall is a time of change. We swap our flip-flops for socks and boots, we feel the cool breeze blow away summer heat, and we watch the colorful leaves fall. Although this season brings great beauty and festivities, increasing thoughts of the chilly weather and fewer daylight hours may start to affect your mood. Nature’s changes can cause us to feel more sluggish, uninterested, and like we’re lacking focus. Looking for a good mood-booster to lighten your mood and feel reenergized? Try incorporating moments of gratitude into your daily routine to help you out of that late fall, early winter slump...
When people hear the phrase “Eating Disorder”, the more common disorders like anorexia and bulimia come to mind. However, there are actually a number of other types of eating disorders that are not as well known—but just as dangerous. One such type is ARFID, or Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. ARFID is more than just “picky eating”—it negatively impacts a person’s weight, harms his or her growth, or interferes with someone’s daily tasks. As a result of the severe eating problem, the person may not be able to get enough nutrition through his or her diet. Let’s learn more about ARFID, how it differs from picky eating, and how therapy can help those with ARFID…
Do your children have trouble falling or staying asleep? Do your kids feel sleepy during the day? It doesn’t matter your age—if you don’t get enough quality sleep, you are more likely to feel tired as you go about your day. That’s why it’s important to practice good sleep hygiene. “Sleep hygiene” refers to good sleep habits. Parents should aim to establish healthy sleep habits for their children, especially since children require additional sleep for their growth and development. Healthy, quality sleep is important for your children’s physical and mental health; in can improve their mood, productivity, and alertness. Don’t worry—just like eating well, being active, and doing homework, good sleep habits can become part of your routine. Here are some tips to help your children feel more restful, agreeable, and ready to confront the many challenges of the day…
Emotions play a crucial role in our lives, as they serve a wide variety of purposes. They guide us through stressful situations and help us connect with others in friendships and relationships. Emotions can be fleeting, powerful, complex, persistent, and even life-changing. They motivate us to act in particular ways and give us the tools and resources we need to interact meaningfully in our social worlds. At the same time, emotions can be difficult to understand. Some people struggle with the complexity of their feelings, and many people may prefer not to have to experience them at all. Life would be easier if we didn't have to undergo the ups and downs that emotions play in our lives. So why are they so important?
Are you worried about your middle school student? In middle school, our children grow and change in almost every aspect. You may notice maturity in your child’s physical development, cognitive skills, social abilities, and/or emotional development. Or, you may notice that your child is lacking in one or more of these areas. There is not a specific timeline of milestones that your child must follow. Every pre-teen and teen develops at his or her own pace. With so much variation in maturity in middle school, it can be hard to tell if your child is on track or if he or she is struggling to keep up. Are you unsure about what’s typical and what’s cause for concern? Let’s learn about the usual milestones and use it as a guide for what to expect…
We all feel overwhelmed from time to time. We may feel panicked when running late for an important meeting at work. We may feel stressed when studying for a major test tomorrow. Certain situations, or the combination of many things to do at once, can make anyone feel overwhelmed. When we get stuck in overwhelming feelings of anxiety, mindfulness skills can help bring us into the present moment. Mindfulness helps us feel more calm, composed, and grounded. Here’s how it works…
It is not uncommon for parents of kids with unpredictable, frequently changing, or intense emotions to struggle with their own emotions when making parenting decisions. Parents tend to get caught in the trap of “extreme” or “black and white” parenting decisions—for example, either being too loose or too strict with rules. There are so many factors involved in making parenting decisions that it isn’t fitting to choose one extreme or the other. Parenting is all about balance—and so is DBT, or Dialectical Behavior Therapy. When you are dialectical, you are able to find balance, like the balance between acceptance and change. Interested in learning more about DBT? This is how you can adopt a dialectical approach in order to make parenting a bit easier…
Sometimes, we feel “stuck” when trying to make healthy changes in our lives. We want to change for the better, yet there’s something holding us back. It’s possible that past traumatic experiences are still affecting us. In fact, just thinking about it might bring us back to the moment as if we’re reliving it, not only remembering it. The events could have occurred long ago, yet they continue to play a role in our daily thoughts, feelings, and behaviors—whether we realize it or not. What can you do to deal with the memories more calmly? One treatment is EMDR, a form of therapy proven effective in helping people cope with trauma. Once you are able to process traumatic experiences, you can free yourself from what’s holding you back and make a change for the better. Let’s learn more about EMDR and how it works…
