Do you find yourself asking your kids to do something 4 or 5 times before you finally give in, give up, and do it yourself? Sometimes, it can seem like your kids don’t care about the consequences of following through on daily tasks, or that they don’t care to listen to what you have to say. Yet ignoring your requests has impacts on you and the whole family. It’s one of every parent’s greatest dilemmas: How do you get your kids to do what you want? Try using the DEARMAN skill. DEARMAN is a fantastic DBT skill that improves communication and helps you get what you want—without yelling, whining, or conflicts. It’s an acronym with tips and techniques to make requests. Let’s explore how it works with a real-life example…
As quarantine measures relax and things begin transitioning back to a “new normal,” it may be time for your family to begin painting a picture of what this transition could look like. We have been through a total of 3 massive and immediate changes in less than 4 months, which means that our brains have been working overtime to adjust time and time again. That’s a lot to cope with! Therefore, it’s understandable if you’re feeling hesitant, confused, or unsure about how to proceed. Here are 3 ways you can help your families (and your minds) prepare to transition to your “new normal” in the weeks ahead…
As parents, we all have unique ideals and expectations of the experience of raising our kids. We set schedules, we create routines and we teach lessons to instill those ideals in our children as we try to meet our own. So, how do we manage when our children change, when we change, and when life changes? It’s challenging to parent your children the same way that you were months ago, before the pandemic began. Therefore, it is crucial that we adapt to changing circumstances. How can we maintain a flexible stance with our parenting and create a calmer home environment? Here are 3 ways to help you become a more effective parenting during this crisis…
Dialectics are two opposing forces, feelings, or situations that happen simultaneously. For example, quarantine is hard AND we will get through it. By thinking and acting dialectically, you can keep your emotions calm AND you can look through a new lens to see two truths in a situation. Dialectics is the foundation of DBT. It teaches us that there is an opposite of everything and we tend to be most effective when we find balance between opposites. In DBT, it is particularly important to balance the idea of acceptance and change. However, it’s very difficult to stay in a neutral or calm emotional state lately if you use the word “but” often or if you tend to discount positives with negatives. Manage your emotions more effectively and keep your cool by practicing dialectics! Here are some tips on how to think and act dialectically right now…
Do you wish you could break a bad habit, but you don’t know how? Habits like nail biting, procrastinating, smoking, or spending too much time online often impede on our daily productivity. They make us frustrated with ourselves and in the end, they do us more harm than good. Don’t keep wondering why you simply cannot stop your bad habit. You can break the cycle of negative behavior and save precious time. Explore these three helpful tips to learn why it is so difficult to break these bad habits and discover what you can do to make a change today…
Month 2 of quarantining brings about a new set of challenges. Your brain and body might both be on overload as you navigate working from home and living in the same space. Between meetings for work in your living room, helping kids with online schooling, and getting things done around the house, it can get overwhelming for moms and dads too. This Mother’s Day, treat your brain and your body to some well-deserved relaxation time using these three simple tips…
Co-parenting means working together with your partner, or even ex-partner, for the greater good of your children. Even the most well-adjusted co-parenting teams encounter obstacles from one day to the next. Now with the added stressor of COVID-19, those struggles can intensify or be different from before quarantine. You may want to re-evaluate and revise your co-parenting strategies to meet new needs. Here are some tips that might help your co-parenting right now…
Under normal circumstances, the usual progression of the day usually goes something like this: Wake up, eat breakfast, drop the kids off at school, go to work, kids travel home from school, get off work, cook dinner, eat, sleep, repeat. This routine means that everyone is busy, and it also makes family time precious. Now what happens when that family time became so frequent that work, school, eating, and alone time merge together? Many families may be finding this time tricky to navigate. Your home may be feeling very close now that everyone is in the same space for extended periods of time. For some, your boundaries may be blurring and your schedule may be more lax. Parents: let’s take a look at the ways you can help your entire family upgrade your family time, when family time is all you have…
Over the past four weeks, we’ve learned that traditional in-person therapy isn’t the only effective way for us to lend support, insight and comfort to you. Online therapy works too! Simply spending dedicating time together, being with you face-to-face for 45-50 minutes, and continuing our dialogue can be effective as an in-person therapy session. If you are considering seeking mental health support right now, challenge any negative assumptions or beliefs that you have about online therapy being “not good enough” or “second best.” During COVID-19 and social distancing, our practice’s individual, family and group therapy sessions are 100% online. We believe that now, more than ever, we all need caring, compassion, support, and strategies and we are here to provide that for you 7 days a week. Interested in learning more about how online therapy works? Read more…
As humans, our brains are wired to respond to internal and external triggers so that we have the proper response to keep us safe. If we sense danger, our brains automatically shift into FIGHT OR FLIGHT mode. Panic and fear automatically trigger your brain’s threat detection, so during COVID-19, your system might go into overdrive. This is okay in the short-term, but it can take its toll on your body in the long-term. It is not healthy to be in fight or flight mode more often than necessary. Luckily, you can rewire your brain so that you’re not constantly overwhelmed by anxious or fearful thoughts or you’re not stuck in a state of mind that makes it tough to think clearly. Improve your physical and emotional well-being during this stressful time with these helpful tips…
We’re in the midst of anxiety-provoking times. Whether you’ve dealt with anxiety before the pandemic or you’re experiencing anxious thoughts as a result of these changing times, it’s normal to experience heightened anxiety. We’re all worried about our health, the health of our family and friends, our jobs, the economy, and what the future will look like, among other things. How can we deal with all of these anxious thoughts without letting them overwhelm us? Try practicing gratitude. Gratitude is all about showing appreciation. It’s not something that we’re hard-wired to do, but it is something that we can incorporate into our daily lives in order to reap the benefits. What is gratitude all about, and how can it help you? Let’s explore…
In the last few weeks since schools have closed and many businesses have begun working remotely, we have heard from many parents of teens with pre-existing social anxiety and/or school refusal, that their teens are thriving while sheltering in place. Whereas we hear that other parents are left at a loss, unsure how to help their teens who feel tortured from the lack of social interaction. No matter which end of the spectrum your child falls on, social distancing is a major concern for many parents. Parents are worried about the long-term effects of social distancing on their already distanced kids. How can you help your teen through this turbulent time? Here are some suggestions…
Social distancing is difficult for everyone. Staying at home causes tensions to run high in the family. For parents of teens, this makes your relationship with your child even more complicated to manage. How do you know what your teen needs during this troublesome time? How can you best support your child? Here are three messages that your teen needs you to hear about social distancing and COVID-19.
We are ALL navigating uncharted territory together and it is important that you create a plan for YOUR FAMILY that effectively manages anxieties, scheduling and completing of tasks while staying both physically AND mentally healthy. There is hype. There is hearsay. There are opinions and beliefs. And then there is WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY? Here are some tips for helping your family effectively navigate Coronavirus…
As a parent, you give your all for your children. You do your best to support them, as well as other loved ones. Now consider, what was the last time you did something to help yourself? Many parents find that they are too busy or that they don’t know how to create balance and care for themselves. Whether you are a new parent or a veteran mom or dad of four, you deserve to find time for yourself in order to unwind. Are you ready to find balance in your life? Here are some easy ways to create balance and decompress…
Is your teen feeling overwhelmed? Are the demands of schoolwork, social activities, and extracurriculars stressing out your son or daughter? Are you looking for some much-needed relief? It’s normal for teens to feel stressed from time to time. They have many priorities to manage and they are still learning how to handle it all. All of these responsibilities can take their toll on your teen’s mental health and overall well-being. When teens get stuck in overwhelming feelings of anxiety, mindfulness skills can help bring them into the present moment. Mindfulness practice is a simple, natural, and effective way to feel calmer and maintain control of their emotions. Here’s how it works…
Do you have trouble keeping your cool when parenting your teen? It’s not easy dealing with teens emotional up and downs while keeping your own emotions in check. Therefore, taking a dialectical approach might be helpful for you. Being dialectical means finding balance—specifically, balance between opposites. There is an opposite to everything in life, and we tend to be most effective when we balance those opposing ideas. By finding balance between things that seem completely opposite to you, like a draining day and a calm mind, you can manage your teen without the emotional strain. Are you ready to apply dialectics to your parenting approach?
Do you ever wish you could break free of old habits that aren’t working? Making a change is easier said than done. Luckily, recent studies in neuroplasticity are proving that the seeds of change live in all of us. We all have the ability to rewire our brains for success because of neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is a medical term that describes the brain’s ability to continually create new neural paths, as well as disconnect the paths that are no longer used. Research indicates that these pathways are not set in stone; they can be changed at any time or any age! By rewiring your neural pathways, you can let go of old, unhealthy habits and create new, healthy ones. Here are some ways to harness the power of neuroplasticity and form new roads to success…
Are you happy with the body you live in? Do you often criticize your appearance? These are all questions related to body image. Body image refers to your personal relationship with your body, not what you actually look like. It is connected to your beliefs, perceptions, feelings, thoughts, and actions surrounding your physical appearance. It’s more challenging to accept yourself when you have difficulty liking your physical looks. Body dissatisfaction is a common problem; in fact, millions of people struggle with body dissatisfaction or issues with body image. There is good news though! An unsatisfying or negative body image can be changed to a positive one. There are ways to achieve self-acceptance. Here are some tips you can use to work towards a healthier body image…
Are your relationships causing you stress? Do you wish that your friendship or romantic relationship was stronger? The healthiest relationships are those founded on trust and communication. Sometimes, we get so caught up in our own worlds that we forget to think of others when interacting. The GIVE skill, a useful DBT tool, reminds us to consider how we want others to feel about us. It encourages us to consider how the way in which we interact affects the message that we’re sending. Here’s how it works…
